I was sitting back observing the physical intimacy between my friend and her children. Her 3-year old daughter is very affectionate -- huggy and kissy. My friend and her daughter were rough-housing a little bit when she changed up and wanted to give her daughter a kiss. Her doting daughter leaned in to give her mother a big kiss on the lips. My friend rejected the offer and instead asked to kiss her daughter on the cheek. This, of course, displeased the little girl who said, "no mommy...on the lips!" So, they played dodgeball with each other's intent until they were rough-housing again. This scene prompted my mind to jump back about 20+ years. In my family and as a child, it was commonplace to embrace with a kiss on the lips. This was shared not only between us children and our parents, but also with extended family members. What prompted this behavior to change?At some point in time, this expression changed. And for the life of me, I can't remember when. My kisses hello and goodbye became kisses on the cheek or not at all. And no longer did I kiss my parents good night. Who initiated this change? Did I begin to feel uncomfortable with the practice? Did my family notice my age and felt it inappropriate to continue? At what age was this? Why? What does age have to do with it? At no point point in time do I remember a conversation had or opinion expressed to me. It seems to have been an instinctual and gradual transition. Or was it?
And so, I wonder, how will it be with my own children. Will I express my endearment of them with a kiss on the lips? Yes. Until what age or circumstance will I own this practice? I don't know. I guess we'll see.
