Chaines Tournes

For a while, I had been engaged with a seemingly one-way conversation with the Lord about relationships and sex. There are Christian people who are in relationships for 5 and 10 years and I wondered how can you be in a relationship for so long and abstain. I thought, Lord, that's too long. I won't be able to hold out for that long. Even two years I thought would be difficult especially if you love this person, are attracted to them, and plan to marry. While in a relationship, how do you abstain from sex for an extended period of time?

One dreary day, I was driving on 395N to get to work and was daydreaming. (Note: It's not always safe to daydream while driving...lol). I was daydreaming about bowling with some people I attend Shiloh with. There was food, fun, laughter, and lights -- and yes, I had full-blown conversations with people in my daydream. While waiting for my turn to bowl, I noticed a girl about 7 years old practicing her chaines tournes (a ballet technique that is a series of quick turns on alternating feet with progression along a straight line or circle). The girl was wobbling and stumbling and not moving along a defined path. So, I decided to approach the girl and give her one of the most important and most memorable pieces of advice -- the same advice I was given while learning how to do chaines tournes. My ballet teacher told me to first envision where I want to go and then let my head guide me on that path. She said, "if you lead with your head, your body will follow."

And then...Eureka!

I came to the realization that in order to stay on a path (in this instance, abstaining from sex until marriage for any length of time), it first requires envisioning where it is you want to go/be, fixing it in your mind, and then letting your head lead -- or as God put it to me, "Get Your Mind Right." I also realized that i was in the parking lot at work and couldn't remember how I got there -- which is why daydreaming while driving is not always safe...lol.

I also want to point out how important practice is. After taking the advice on how to do chaines tournes, I didn't have any more problems doing them near perfect. Today, even though I know the technique, I'm not as strong or defined with my chaines tournes and that's because i've been out of practice. The same holds true for premarital sex. You won't be as strong and defined with your decision to stay abstinent once you get into a relationship if you live a promiscuous lifestyle while single. It takes practice.

And so even with knowing in your heart and mind what direction you want to or should take, you must get your mind right and lead with your head so that your body will follow.